just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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