Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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