How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
