just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
