we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
