I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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