its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
