omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
and i looked up. we had an audience...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
