I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
