Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
