did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
