he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she looked like the before picture.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
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it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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