How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Randomize
