Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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