Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
