So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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