He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
