There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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