david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
