i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
