we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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