and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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