An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
When did we convert life to cartoon?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
