meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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