It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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