The maid of honor just puked.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
