I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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