And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
