the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize