Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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