Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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