Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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