it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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