i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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