you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
we're making bets on your personal life
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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