Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize