Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
