butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
