We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
