Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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