i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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