What a fucking waste of an outfit
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
