I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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