don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My feet surprised me
Randomize
