How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
