i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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