No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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