Just fell off a train. Bad.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
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He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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