i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Enjoy the penises
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
