last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I supernannyed him into submission
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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