yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
