Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
