i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Randomize
