all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
