help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
