this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
