Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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