I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
