My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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