Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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