guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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