The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
