I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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