Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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