Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
