hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
