Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize