Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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